Who Says I’m Single?

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January 30, 2012

For the past couple of years, I’ve attended Oklahoma Magazine’s Single in the City charity auction in Oklahoma City. I really like the event. There’s always a bunch of hot girls in attendance, all the proceeds benefit a great cause and I’m usually able to sneak some drinks onto my editor’s bar tab. Plus, Oklahoma Magazine lets me roast the singles on my website. When you take a break from reading The Pioneer Woman or Dooce or this column, you should check it out. While you’re there, click on some ads.

This year’s auction nearly took a turn for the worse as someone actually had the nerve to nominate me for the auction. To make matters worse, Oklahoma Magazine then asked me to be a participant. My slightly edited, three-word reply to their request was, “No Freakin’ Way.” And this is why.

Tatiana – the European fashion model I’m dating – would not be pleased. I like how the people at Oklahoma Magazine just assumed I’m single. They probably figured that was the case because I like to watch Forensic Files marathons and still play Sim City. What they forgot to consider is that I’m a local pseudo-anonymous D-list celebrity blogger. That gets me tons of phone numbers at bars or Target. In fact, I think my internet celebrity status is the only reason why Tatiana likes me so much. Or it could be Ogleville: the pollution-free, futuristic city I built in Sim City and dedicated to her.

The last time I participated in a charity singles auction, I was bought by an old lady named Phyllis. When I was 21, I participated in a charity auction to benefit some nonprofit retirement community. The lady who bid the most on me ($5.18) was named Phyllis. Our first date was kind of weird. I went over to her house and changed some light bulbs. Afterward, she invited Blanche and Doris over and we played bridge. The date ended when Phyllis fell asleep watching OETA.

I’m way too good looking. This year’s singles are very attractive, but they got nothing on me. I’ve been nominated for People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” twice (thanks, Tatiana!) and my abs are so hard and chiseled that they’ve been confused for slate (thanks again, Tatiana!).

I don’t want to make fun of myself. As I mentioned above, I usually roast the singles on my website. If I were a participant, how could I make fun of myself? That would be difficult. I’d have to write something like “Patrick’s hotter than melted milk chocolate in a fat person’s mouth,” or “Patrick’s so dashing that he rides through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh.” Plus, I’d have to explain the eye patch. That’s never fun.

Read more about Patrick’s imaginary girlfriend at www.thelostogle.com.

The Meat House

By

Jami Mattox

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January 30, 2012

When the name of your butchery is something as primal, as perfunctory as The Meat House, expectations are high. Steaks, sausages, artisan and exotic meats should be the status quo. And at the newest butcher and grocery store in the Oklahoma City area, those items certainly are. Steaks cut to order; specialty, $18-per-pound bacon; duck and rattlesnake are just a few staples in the cases at The Meat House. And, when possible, meats are provided by local farms and ranches, ensuring high quality. Areas devoted to fresh produce, delicious marinades and spices mean The Meat House is a throwback to days when your local, neighborhood grocer could offer everything you need to make a delicious meal for your family. For those who are looking for a quick fix, The Meat House also offers prepared meals for take out, and the grocery’s website offers meats for sale online. 2249 W. Danforth Rd., Edmond. www.themeathouse.com

The Spudder

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January 30, 2012

There’s nothing trendy about this 36-year-old bit of Tulsa culinary tradition tucked away near 51st and Sheridan, yet, as locals in the know will tell you, it’s hands down one of the best places in town for steaks. The décor celebrates Tulsa’s oil heritage, but the menu revels in meat, and lots of it.

On a recent Friday evening, we put the restaurant to the test with a birthday party that kept growing – a pet peeve of any server, I’m sure. Our server, decked out in denim overalls, graciously added chairs and kept the drinks flowing while we perused the menu. The Spudder offers a selection of appetizers and seafood, but here it’s really about deciding which cut of beef you want. Choices include a small (6 oz.) or large (9 oz.) filet, 12 oz. ribeye, 22 oz. prime rib, which Man vs. Food host Adam Richman proclaimed the best he’s ever eaten, and a gargantuan 26 oz. porterhouse. There’s also chicken, lamb and an entire pork tenderloin. Meats are cooked to juicy perfection over live charcoal, and all meals come with potato soup, though our server recommended the tomato soup, house salad and a loaded baked potato. If by any chance you have room for dessert, ask your server about the day’s selection. 6536 E. 50th St., Tulsa. www.thespudder.com

Single In The City

By

Jami Mattox

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January 27, 2012

The Chili Champ

By

Jill Meredith

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January 26, 2012

Mike Mayenschein knows his chili. He has entered and won many chili cook-offs since 1994 and is steadfast in his approach to making delicious, no-nonsense chili.

Born in Chicago, Mayenschein moved all over the country before settling in Oklahoma in 1987. In 1994, he tagged along with a friend to a chili cook-off, and he was hooked. He has competed – and racked up championships – ever since.

One important note about competition chili: There are no beans, pasta, rice or other fillers allowed. Only the meat and “gravy” are permitted.

So what makes a really good bowl of chili? Mayenschein shares several tips for making a great bowl of “red.”

“Making delicious chili is all about building layers of flavor,” he says.

This is achieved in several ways. First, the meat is not seared or browned; it should only be “grayed,” or cooked just until the pink is gone. If the meat were seared, it would not be able to absorb the spices. Mayenschein recommends using ground chuck because it has a higher fat content than other cuts, and fat equals flavor.

“The first and most important indication that the meat is good is if the drippings are a bright, golden color.”

The spices are added in batches, known as “dumps.” This is done for a couple of reasons. “Some spices can and will become bitter if cooked too long,” he says. “The chili should just bubble every few seconds. This keeps it from reducing too quickly and burning.”

Another secret to making great chili is to cook it in an enameled cast iron pot. The enamel is important because a plain cast iron pot would react with the acid in the tomato paste and give the chili an unpleasant, metallic flavor.

One of the most interesting tips Mayenschein shares is adding bone-in pork chops to cook with the chili. It is similar in flavor to adding ham hock to a big pot of beans.
He also suggests only using coarse sea salt because it contains some minerals that other salts don’t have.

One last tip Mayenschein shares is to regrind the already ground spices for a more uniform consistency and also to help release the oils.

Mike’s Championship Chili

The chili takes three hours to cook once everything is added, but it is well worth the time commitment. A big bowl of chili is a delicious thing by itself, but of course, there are other uses for it, too. Frito chili pie would be stellar with homemade chili, as would three-way spaghetti. However, one of Mayenschein’s favorite things to with his chili is to make a tasty dip.

“Melt a large block of Velveeta and then add chili to it until it has a good consistency,” he recommends.

4 lb. ground chuck (80/20)
1 can beef consommé
1 can chicken broth
1 8-oz. can tomato paste
Chicken bouillon
Beef bouillon
Cayenne powder
Onion powder
White pepper
Garlic powder
Chili powder
1 stick butter
White sugar
Brown sugar
2 bone-in pork chops
Coarse sea salt

Mix each “dump” separately.

Dump 1
2 tbsp. chili powder
1 tsp. white sugar
1 tsp. beef bouillon
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. salt

Dump 2
4 tbsp. chili powder
1/2 tsp. cayenne
1 tsp. chicken bouillon granules
1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. white pepper
1/2 tsp. white sugar

Dump 3
4 tbsp. chili powder
2 tsp. MSG
1 tsp. chicken bouillon
1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. brown sugar

Divide meat into two equal portions. Gray one portion of meat (cook just until the pink is gone) in half a stick of butter. Remove and set aside to drain well. Repeat for second portion. To the pot add chicken broth, beef consommé and two cans of water. Heat until simmering, then add dump one. Dissolve spices, then add ground chuck and the two pork chops. Heat until simmering. Simmer on low heat for two hours, stirring regularly. Remove chops and add dump 2 and two dollops of tomato paste, blend and simmer for 30 minutes. Add dump 3 and simmer another 30 minutes. Stir regularly. Add water if sauce is too thick. Salt to taste.

Historic Hanoi

By

Michael W. Sasser

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January 26, 2012

It’s a name that still stirs passions in many Americans, but in the 21st century, there’s a good chance a savvy traveler might hear “Vietnam” and think of planning a trip as opposed to reliving the turbulent conflict of the 1960s and 1970s.

Certainly things have changed for Hanoi, Vietnam’s capital and second largest city. Part of that is because the city is at peace, despite a lengthy history of war, strife and occupation. Aspects of its peace dividend contribute to the allure of the city. Most notably, Hanoi never experienced the advent of modern architecture in the ‘70s and ‘80s, so even though it’s in the midst of a building boom now, much of its Colonial French-meets-Chinese influence in architecture and design remains intact, particularly in Hanoi’s Old Quarter.

The appeal of Vietnam is history and an intricate culture, so it’s no surprise that the most popular and ubiquitous attraction is the Thang Long Water Puppet Theatre across the street from the shores of the Hoan Kiem Lake. Live musicians accompany folk legends from Vietnamese history, expressed through wooden men, women and dragons, dancing and splashing on the face of the water. Sure, the tales are told in Vietnamese, but it is still a magical experience for visitors. Nearby, the Ly Thai To Statue & Park is one of the city’s most popular open spaces.

History and culture converge at numerous destinations in Hanoi. Chief attractions include the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum, the Ho Chi Minh Museum and the Presidential Palace (when open). The Fine Arts Museum is interesting both for the largely unexplained work that does appear as that which does not – only Communist Party-approved works can be displayed. The Army Museum explores 2,000 years of military history, and the National Museum of Vietnamese History’s collection dates back more than a millennium. The Museum of the Vietnamese Revolution is housed in an 80-year-old building that is considered a successful example of the blending of French Colonial and traditional Vietnamese architecture. Among numerous handsome temples, the Temple of Literature is notable as Vietnam’s first university, formed more than 1,000 years ago.

Sites of interest to history buffs include the Downed Aircraft Memorial and the Hoa Lo Prison (“Hanoi Hilton”), which is now a museum of note if not necessarily an arbiter of unbiased history. Less controversial are the colorful markets, Hang Da and Dong Xuan.

Dining in Hanoi can be an epiphany or a nightmare. Although the city’s celebrated global influences manifest in the form of diverse culinary options and terrific food can be found at even tiny stands with plastic furniture in the Old Quarter, some local delicacies don’t translate to many Western palates – think dog meat, cobra and extract from giant water bugs. Plan in advance and ask advice of trusted sources – good advice to consider for your entire Vietnam adventure.

Stay In Style

Hanoi’s diversity in accommodations has increased in recent years and includes numerous offerings.

Sofitel Legend Metropole Hanoi has certainly has its share of celebrity guests since its 1901 opening, from Graham Greene to George Bush – and for good reason. Classic design elements merged with myriad modern conveniences and flourishes set the stage for a convenient, comfortable, five-star stay complete with spa, restaurants and business necessities. www.sofitel.com.

Grand Plaza Hanoi Hotel’s 618 rooms feature city views and all of the modern conveniences frequent travelers appreciate, with pampering touches such as area shuttle, satellite television and a health club. http://grandplazahanoi.net/

Fraser Suites Hanoi is conveniently located just three miles from Old Quarter and is favored by those who appreciate the most modern accommodations. Each of the 186 residences lives up to the term with comprehensive amenities and ultra-chic design. http://hanoi.frasershospitality.com/

At a Glance

Hanoi is located on the east bank of Vietnam’s Red River approximately 1,000 miles north of Ho Chi Minh City and is the nation’s capital and second largest city.

Access: Numerous international airlines service Noi Bai International Airport, which is some 20 miles outside Hanoi.

Population: Approximately 2.6 million in the urban areas.

Climate: Humid subtropical with hot rainy summers, short relatively mild winters and generally mild transitions.

Main Attractions: History, culture and architecture are what draw most to this ancient city long cut off from the Western world.

Hot Picks

Plan: Make as many arrangements ahead of time before arriving in Vietnam to avoid the numerous tourist scams perpetrated by everyone from hotel operators to cab drivers.

Tour: Definitely plan a Ha Long Bay tour or an overnight boat stay to enjoy the spectacular scenery. Most hotels can make the arrangements.

Daytripping: A guided tour to the Perfume Pagoda, an ancient Buddhist pilgrimage site about 40 miles from Hanoi, features a boat trip, hike or cable car up a mountain to an impressive limestone cave rich in Buddhist icons.

Visit Online

www.vietnamtourism.com

Drake

By

Staff

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January 26, 2012

In June 2010, Drake’s album Thank Me Later debuted at No. 1 one on the Billboard 200 chart, which made the young hip-hop artists next project a much-talked-of endeavor. It arrived in November as Take Care, a collection of studio-recorded tracks giving fans of the Canadian rapper more of what they liked: his lyrical strength and willingness to venture into the softer side of his genre. Never mind the reports of rapper feuds that are kicked around come awards season. Drake’s latest album includes collaborations with notables such as Noah Shebib, Andre 3000, Lil’ Wayne and Rihanna. In the past he’s worked with Kanye West, Eminem and Jay-Z. Listen as all the frustrations are worked out in the music. Drake plays Chesapeake Energy Arena on Feb. 28. Always a favorite with the critics, will the actor-turned-rapper/singer win over his Oklahoma City crowd? If he’s met the world’s expectations, everything indicates, “You bet!” www.chesapeakearena.com

Dead Man Walking

By

Staff

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January 26, 2012

Tulsa Opera had its waltz through the classics in October’s frolicking The Barber of Seville, toasting beauty and gaiety in old Europe. The arts group’s next stage presentation, however, takes a deeper route straight to the center of the soul in a completely contemporary story of murder and redemption. Rising mezzo-soprano Kirstin Chavez, best known for roles like the lusty temptress in Carmen, portrays nun Sister Helen Prejean, spiritual advisor to death row inmate Joseph De Rocher (portrayed by Michael Mayes). Dead Man Walking is based on the book by Prejean of her work with De Rocher, who brutally murdered two teenagers, to realize the truth and pain of his crime. Dead Man Walking plays at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center Feb. 25, March 2 and 4. Also watch for several other events connected to this production; including the Eye4Eye exhibition at Living Arts of Tulsa (Feb. 3-24) www.myticketoffice.com

Come Together

By

Meika Yates Hines

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January 26, 2012

Every now and then, when the talents of two “lone wolf” songwriters from the same stompin’ grounds happen to collide, the chemistry is just right and a lot of mighty fine music comes about.

That’s just what happened when Bryon White came together with Gabriel Marshall at the highly respected ritual known amongst Oklahoma songwriters as the “Song Swap,” and it’s been nothing but good stuff ever since.

Having played separately in different bands for years around the same circuit, it wasn’t until two years ago that the singer/songwriters decided to collaborate their efforts to form the Norman-based band, The Damn Quails.

“Gabe and I are both loners as far as writing goes, but something about our stuff always seems to work out. We’re very different with our material and the way that we say things, but I think being around the same people over the years and having the same kinds of influences, especially in the later part of our career, helps a lot,” White explains.

“We don’t collaborate on songwriting, but we do thread our songs together on stage and on our album. We don’t step on each other’s toes, and that’s what makes us work.”

“We don’t collaborate on songwriting, but we do thread our songs together on stage and on our album."

Described as a young band with an old soul, their feel-good energy and musical talent got the attention of renowned songwriter/musician/producer Mike McClure and businessman Chance Sparkman, making the Quails a shoo-in as the debut artists for the pair’s new indie label, 598 Recordings.

Backed by what has become known as the “Quail Philharmonic,” the duo has since been making a name for themselves on the charts, on the road and at their popular weekly Monday night jam at the Deli in Norman with their debut album, Down the Hatch.

With anywhere from seven to nine musicians on stage at one time, each playing at least two instruments, the eclectic mix of the Quail Philharmonic gives The Damn Quails’ country/jam band sound an edge reminiscent to that of jazz, and shows the wide diversity they offer.

“Over the weeks at our Deli shows, we had more and more musicians who liked what we had going on and wanted to play, so the band grew and accumulated naturally. We’re blessed to have one of the best bands around, as far as the caliber of guys we’ve got playing with us. They’re all phenomenal musicians and great guys,” Marshall says.

Moonstruck

By

Staff

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January 26, 2012

In May 1983, people of all ages gathered in front of TVs at home to watch music’s homage to the sound of Motor City, Motown. Before that nostalgic stroll was over, we were all astonished.
During the broadcast of Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever, viewers had their first glimpses of the moonwalk – a dance move so fluid and smooth it startled. Within the five minutes it took to sing and dance to his single “Billie Jean,” Michael Jackson became the King of Pop.
The moonwalk, angular poses and those precise, slicing moves became as signature to him as the forward-tilted hat and sequined glove; and it all inspired Cirque du Soleil to create Michael Jackson, The Immortal World Tour, a new show headed for Tulsa’s BOK Center. Shows are scheduled for 8 p.m. Feb. 18 and 4 p.m. Feb. 19. While his personal controversies and changing physical appearance dominated the public’s attention in his latter years, the late singer’s explosive vision of dance, music and pop culture continues to influence the young and ambitious. Cirque’s acrobats, dancers and performers take on the choreography Jackson made timeless on stage and in memorable music videos. The show includes songs from his days with the Jackson 5 to solo hits such as “Thriller,” “Beat It,” “Bad” and “Dangerous.”
There will be plenty of stage spectacles to be sure, but Jackson’s music – which has seen a resurgence of popularity following his sudden death in 2009 – and inimitable persona may still take your breath away.
For more information about Michael Jackson, The Immortal World Tour, go online to www.bokcenter.com. Tickets can also be purchased by calling 866.726.5287.

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